Dear People of Ashland, Oregon

Dear People of Ashland,

You're really going to have to start making some changes if you want to convince people not to move here. For starters, you need to stop picking up hitch hikers and taking them home with you and telling them that they can stay with you as long as they want. Also, when some stranger asks you where the post office is, you might want to try telling them to "get lost" rather than driving them there and then taking them to your garden and loading them up with your homegrown fruits and veggies. And perhaps you shouldn't be inviting them to a bbq where you're grilling up a fresh steelhead you just caught that morning, served with roasted corn on the cob and a nice selection of cheeses and local microbrews. Also, inviting them to your Reggae show, where you get them in for free, isn't helping matters either. likewise, buying pizza for out of town strangers and loading them up with healthy snacks for the road from the co-op isn't really sending the appropriate "message". And don't even get me started on the free Shakespeare performances in Lithia park, healthy people riding bicycles every where, hip-hop poetry jams, smiling people asking "How's your day?", beautiful weather, an amazing library, and a bounty of wild delicous blackberries, oh and your own ski resort??? Sheesh! In short, Ashland, you suck!